Open up your mind and see like me....

You never really have the chance to realize how many people around you are seeing and feeling similarly to what you are...

Days are passing and I am facing the things I have feared through every step I take. The anger still exists strongly. The fear of aggression still lingers. Figuring out how to make myself happy is still a challenge. I've learned to work with these and to direct them in ways that make me feel less afraid.

Today I spent a lot of time reconnecting with Rhode Island friends. I really love them. I've really realized the anger stems from the fact that I directed 100% of my energy, love, and compassion to the one person whom did everything they could to hurt me. So, I am investing it differently this time. :) I love so many people in my life so much and it felt amazing to give some love to everyone. I've never felt so amazingly.

I guess I've realized that, even though making myself happy is easy by principle, doing it is exhausting. It's not a bad thing. There are just days where it's easier to ignore it and be lazy. Today was that day. I think considering, I did a pretty good job of beating the laziness. Maybe this is why so many people become depressed. I think there becomes a point in which they are so exhausted from hardships that at the end of the day they don't have the energy to recover and make themselves happy (or maybe they don't know how). Next time I have a day that is lazy like today, maybe I'll make a list of the things that make me happy and pick at least 2 that I will make myself do. :) I think that'll really make a difference and help me not get into a funk.

Life has rough roads, but maybe our ability to adventure through them is the exciting stuff.

The past has vanished.
Everything that was uttered belongs there.
Now is the time to speak of new things.

- Rumi